a bit indecisive.

I changed my clothes 5 times today. I don't want to become attached to any one outfit, especially if it will go out of style quickly.

There is a leak in our ceiling.


**edit** BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE EDWARD SHARPE AND THE MAGNETIC ZEROS IN SAVANNAH, GA ON JULY 11, 2010.

i bet when i leave my body for the sky the wait will be worth it.

Local Natives - Airplanes

Happy birthday Hamilton.

Yesterday was Tana's birthday. Yesterday night was quite entertaining to say the least.

bruises on my knees for you.

well almost. but, i found bruises on my legs today, from saturday's water slide adventure. what fun!

Summer Reading.

I finally bought The Hobbit with the gift card from Barnes and Noble my mom gave me for Easter. Then went to Lake Ella to start reading it around 6:30pm. It was perfect out.

I love that I have time to read more than one book in the summer. Its what I look forward to.

little cakes.

I got to sleep until 11:45am today. Incredible. I woke up and took the longest shower. I proceeded to do my morning ritual of checking my e-mails and catching up on some blogs I follow and saw that Rachel was online. Since my blackberry has been out of commission since the day before my birthday I thought this was the best way to see she was up to today. To which she responded "I am going to get cupcakes. Do you want to come?" It is nearly impossible to refuse an offer like that. So off we went to Lucy and Leo's Cupcakery on Thomasville road. Rachel got a red velvet cupcake (along with a cookies and cream one for later) and I indulged in a chocolate expresso cupcake (I brought one home for Tana as well as a strawberry short-cupcake for Hailey). I found a picture from their website of the cupcake I had today.

I went to my parents house for dinner tonight. I tend to get bored easily there, so, I started rummaging through one of the dressers in the closet of the computer room and found this gem. Yes it says Hawaii 76. Yes it is from Hawaii. Yes it is 34 years old. It's from the bicentennial which makes this shirt even more spectacular. Obviously I am going to wear it on the 4th of July.

the sap in me has been exposed.

For my birthday my mom gave me the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I had never heard of it. I finished it today. The book is basically about following one's dream towards what the main character describes as everyone's "Personal Legend". I felt that the main character falling in love plays a big role in it.

The book was translated from Portuguese, (Coelho is from Brazil) and these excerpts really resonated in me. In some ways it gave me hope.

When Santiago sees Fatima for the first time at a well in the oasis;

Because, when you know that language [universal language], it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. With out such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.

Fatima telling Santiago he must pursue his treasure;

You have told me your dreams, about the old king and your treasure. And you've told me about omens. So now, I fear nothing, because it was those omens that brought you to me. And I am a part of your dream, a part of your Personal Legend, as you call it. That's why I want you to continue toward your goal. If you have to wait until the war is over, then wait. But if you have to go before then, go on in pursuit of your dream. The dunes are changed by the wind, but the desert never changes. That is the way it will be with our love for each other ... if I am really part of your dream, you'll come back one day.

The alchemist tells Santiago why he must continue on to find his treasure;

You've got to find your treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense. 

You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it is because it wasn't true love ... the love the speaks the Language of the World.

 Fatima's response to Santiago when he tries to explain to her why he loves her;

One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

Santiago still has to tell her why he loves her;

So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.

The alchemist's response to Santiago on his choice of leaving Fatima behind to find his treasure;

If what one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you have found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you will find nothing on your return.

The alchemist tells Santiago that he must listen to his heart because where his heart is that is where he will find his treasure. 

"But my heart is agitated," the boy said. "It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it's become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I'm thinking about her." "Well, that's good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say." 

His heart told him that it was happy. "Even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly." "My heart is afraid it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist on night as they looked up at the moonless sky. "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams." 

Santiago's heart speaking on why people's hearts seldom say much about people's treasures; 

"... very few follow the path laid out for them - the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be that threatening place." 

other snippets

... when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too ... when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.

... everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.